


How It Feels

by magnusragnor



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Fluff, Multi, canon AU, jace deserves the world 2k17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 23:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnusragnor/pseuds/magnusragnor
Summary: Jace doesn't know why he always agreed to mean nothing to people.





	How It Feels

**Author's Note:**

> sO this is dedicated to my angel [hali](http://lightwoody.tumblr.com). happy birthday my darling!! you are one of my favorite people to talk to and i hope your have an amazing day and an amazing year. i love you. <3
> 
> as usual a thank u to [charl](http://lightwoodlesbians.tumblr.com) for being the consistent best and reading through my thing 100 times because i'm a perfectionist. i love u. <3
> 
> title is from the song how it feels by jhameel!!

It all started with Valerie Bell.

Jace was fourteen when he had a sleepover with some of his fellow Shadowhunters. He had been leaning against a wall, sipping a drink, when Valerie walked over to him, leaned in, and whispered:

“This doesn't mean anything, I just wanna make Jack jealous.”

She kissed him with enthusiasm and a lack of skill, and Jace kissed back, trying to get her words out of his head where they played on an endless loop.

He didn't tell anyone that it was his first kiss.

There were a lot of in-between flings. Men and women, Downworlders and Nephilim, but they never lasted more than a month. Love stories that ended too soon, because Jace was never enough.

The  _ whatever _ he had with Maia was just a fling. Maia was beautiful and witty, and she drew Jace in like a moth to a flame. Jace knew, though, in the back of his head, that the nights he spent at Maia’s place were temporary, and were used as just a way to blow off some steam.

“Don't think this means anything,” Maia had said after their first kiss. Jace doesn't know why he always agreed to mean nothing to people.

The thing with Clary was even more complicated. Between their entire history, and her inevitably breaking his heart by choosing Simon over him, well, Jace couldn’t say he was particularly surprised at this point.

At the Seelie Court, right after her kiss with Simon didn't work to remove the killer vines threatening to kill Simon and Jace, Clary had kissed Jace instead, but not before reminding him that it once again, didn't mean anything.

“This means nothing,” she had said, and even though the kiss proved that in her heart she wanted Jace, in the end, she still hadn't chosen him. 

Jace shouldn't have been torn up over it - Clary did tell him specifically that what they had meant nothing.

Simon, though, came in and stole Jace’s heart like the perfect and wonderful storm that he was. 

After everything they had both been through, they found each other, and Jace tried desperately not to get his hopes up. 

_ You wear your heart on your sleeve, you know that right? _ Izzy had once joked. Jace laughed to conceal the pain in his chest.

He and Simon were lying together on a peaceful Sunday morning. The birds chirped outside and the sunlight was warm on Jace’s face. Simon was talking animatedly about some kind of movie franchise Jace would love.

If Jace closed his eyes for long enough, maybe he could keep this moment forever.

Simon shifted next to him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Simon asked, pulling the covers up a little to cover his naked torso. 

Jace’s mind went back to the events of an hour ago, and he grinned, raising their intertwined fingers to his lips and pressing a kiss to the back of Simon’s hand.

“I'm not thinking about anything.”

“Yes you are,” Simon said, giving him a look.

“Okay, fine,” Jace said, turning his head to meet Simon’s curious eyes. “I'm thinking about how I'm gonna ravish you later.”

Simon snorted, burying his nose into Jace’s shoulder.

“Who even says words like  _ ravish _ anymore?” Simon asked, sounding pleased through his muffled laugh. 

Jace just shrugged, blinking up at the ceiling. A comfortable silence passed over them for a minute, and Jace felt Simon press kisses to his shoulder and collarbone.

“Ready for round two already?” Jace joked.

“No, I just -” Simon huffed, leaning up on his elbow and looking down at Jace. 

Jace furrowed his eyebrows a little as Simon brushed a few strands of hair from Jace’s face.

“I just -” he started again, chewing on his lower lip with a shy but sure smile. “You mean everything to me.” 

Jace could feel his heart thumping loudly in his chest, warmth and love flooding his veins. Simon couldn't possibly have known how much Jace needed to hear that.

“Come here,” Jace choked out, pulling Simon down for a heated kiss. It tasted of cherry chapstick and sunlight.

A song started forming in his heart like a sweet melody, and for this first time in his life, Jace felt chosen.   
  



End file.
